I was pretty off yesterday after getting back to work. I should've stayed there only until maybe 6 but I lingered until 10 and went home to be a vegetable. It doesn't take much to depress me, and finding out my landlord is screwing me over along with dropping 500 on a tow and the too much sun I got in the towyard really did it. My bike is like 700 pounds and really wipes you out to move it around by yourself, and that kind of activity usually makes me feel better but knowing it's just another shackle now kind of turned the whole gig into a bummer.
But I don't want to get any medicine for anything because drugs are always bad for you (I'm sure that was the title for my dissertation to the pharmacology dept). Actually I don't want to have any mental health treatments in my medical records and I have a rather profound distrust of mental health professionals (except for my good friend
silversledge and his wife but only because I know them personally). I never felt so miserable as after I moved here though: the people are the worst and maybe I'll never get why. I want to forget I ever came here when my time is done, and go to another area. Maybe the West coast or maybe Europa Europa. I have a year to decide. I had a headhunter call me at work a week or so ago to see if I was interested in leaving academia to get a job in an industry position. I told her to call me back in a year. I should have reached through the phone and began begging her to throw me one of those golden parachutes I hear so much about so I can fly away like Mary Poppins' umbrella. 