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diffusion

I got up a little late and missed most of the september 11 memorial stuff on CNN. They were blowing their horns and laying wreaths, etcetera. Five years ago I saw the trade center towers fall on CNN, it was fucked up. I had to drive across town for class, so I dug an old AM transistor radio I got 10 years earler out of the closet and brought it to campus, took my french test, and then drove around looking for apartments to move into. Finding none, I did somesuch the rest of the day, and went to my friend's apartment to get drunk with all my friends, and my ultra-conservative friend Alex and I went out on the balcony and swore to enlist in the Marine Corps and shoot 'all the sand niggers we could get our hands on' (paraphrasing, but I'm pretty sure we were screaming for sand nigger heads). It prolly would've been unlucky for an arab to have found himself near our party that night. Obviously, I forgot about my drunken oaths and didn't enlist and didn't kill any middle eastern people. Of course it seems pretty dumb nowadays, but I wasn't so mature and polished back then, when I drank all the time and puked from too much fun at least once a week. Five years changed me a lot, as I don't say 'sand niggers' anymore but 'middle eastern people' and I don't drink liquor and beer much anymore I drink skim milk and weak tea. I don't make oaths to genocide anymore, I just read comic books and cook spagetti and jerk off. It's ascetic, very enervating, I think. Maybe in five more years I'll be even hippier and wear tie-dye and eat only vegetables, give up molesting my ballsack and just hang out in the non-fiction section of the library. Maybe then the terrorists will finally have won?