"Pedobear approves of this iPod"
"This unit for herm robot scat twincest ONLY'
"I don't believe it! HABEEB IT!!"
"Police: there are drugs inside this iPod"
"What's blue and floats around? A dead baby in a pool."
"Yesterday this was up somebody's rectum"
"Presented to Brad Patrick for his 30 years of tireless service -- Galveston sex toys, Inc."
"Behind every satisfied man there's a soggy pillow"
"WILL TRADE THIS IPOD FOR CRACK ENQUIRE WITHIN"
"HAY GUYS CAN I PLAY TOO?"
"I could have fed 100 people for what I paid for this"
"Solomon Grundy want pants too!"
"I'm going to kill you
Look behind you right now"
"Baby rapist on the loose -- see you on the playground!"
"I'm fat and lazy and rich -- I love this country"
I'm tired of thinking of these things. Anyone else have any ideas or which one of these is the best?