After work I went to auto zone for a battery, and they were no help (fucking retards). I tried my portable jump-starter, and it was crap. That's strike 2 for that goddamn thing. So I pulled out my spare truck battery and my jumper cables, which are corroded like a motherfucker. The battery had no posts so I was trying to clamp onto the little tiny surface on the batt, and finally ..... not enough juice to crank the bike. Fuuuck. So I jumped it from my truck, and after 3 or 4 tries, the engine actually turned over.
I was LAYING on the throttle, and I'm hearing 'puh puh bah bah bah" and alll I can think about is the 2+ months that gasoline has been sitting in the tank and in the float bowl turning a nice resiny shade of "you're fucked dude".. But I had faith in this motherfucker. I kept laying and cranking and then finally..... kaBOOOOOOOM-POOWW that engine flipped over and started rolling along. That was the loudest bike I have ever heard, sounded like a train or something. I could hear the clack-clack of the rods over it all and it was kind of worrying me, but after awhile I let the choke back in and it mellowed out somewhat.
I had to run it 10 or 15 minutes before I could remove the cables, then ran it another 5 minutes after that. Hopefully I'll be able to start up tomorrow. I wanted to take it for a ride but the headlight and brake light are disconnected and I'm no daredevil. But, anyway, success. I'm gonna pour in some Chemtool and let it hopefully dissolve whatever minwax has formed in my engine this weekend I think.