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Oct. 12th, 2005

I finally got back out in the yard and filled up my heavy bag all the way up with the garden hose, and beat the shit out of it for awhile, with my headphones on. In Case You Didn't Feel Like Showing Up is a great live CD and is my album of choice when getting pumped up for whatever. I wore myself into a heave and I was supine on the porch gasping for air like a large-mouth bass after a few songs. I have no stamina at all, it's atrocious. If I were to keep that up every afternoon after work, though, I might gain some. Glomping around the yard punching and elbow-striking and throwing knees like I'm slam-dancing back in middle school again. And then, for a grand finale, as I lunge forward with my back leg for a kick, I hear (above the Ministry) RRRRIIIIIIPPPP, and reach down to find I've ripped my jeans at the crotch. Beautiful. These are some of my favorite pants here, now I get to Frankenhooker them back together.

I used cougar's lighter trick on the shrink tubing, it seemed to work okay. My lighter is giving up the ghost, which is inconvenient because my goddamn electric ignitor on my grill is fouled out and I need it. I got my dolly out (aw man, a pneumatic-tired dolly is sooooo much better than those rinky-dink plastic wheel kind) and brought that 200 pound hydraulic press onto the porch, and grabbed some whatnot out of the cab, in case my friends wanna ride in my vehicle. I swear this apartment is getting relatively spic and span here and I'm finding myself disoriented, with my usual landmarks such as trash and soda cans by which I navigate early in the morning, vanished and I'm likely to end up shipwrecked on the rock of Gibraltar if I don't get my bearings.

I hear that Albion armorers will be at the Texas Renaissance Festival and might have some of their new Maestro line of swords for sale there. If so, I might go ahead and buy one, as expensive as they are. They are likely to be pretty nice, and dull (which is what I want). If I wear my ARMA shirt, they might give me a discount..


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 13th, 2005 01:18 pm (UTC)
As long as you have to sew your pants, why not just add a gusset, which would give you extra freedom of movement and hopefully prevent further sartorial disaster?

They are likely to be pretty nice, and dull

You mean the armorers, or the swords? :D
Oct. 13th, 2005 02:58 pm (UTC)
I think the act of sewing in extra fabric into my pants just so I don't rip them at the seams while not at rest would signify that have somehow grown too big for these pants, and I don't think I am ready to admit this defeat just yet.

As for the armorers, for people who charge an arm and a leg for their product, I have to imagine that they are quite happy (and therefore nice). As for dull, swinging a hammer on an anvil all day would make floyd a dull boy indeed I think. Maybe that's why they like to set up shop at faires.
Oct. 13th, 2005 03:56 pm (UTC)
would signify that I have somehow grown too big

No, it wouldn't! It would be a concession to the fact that you like to move vigorously in ways your original pants were not designed to accommodate. The very slender dancers who played the Jets and the Sharks in West Side Story had to have their jeans significantly modified in order to do all that ballet without wardrobe malfunctions.
Oct. 13th, 2005 04:21 pm (UTC)
Oh, so you're saying, "it's not so bad, ballerinas do it!" Well, I'm totally sold on it now! ;)

In truth, though, it's not that I'm getting too big for my jeans (They're actually getting too big for me), it's that I tend to wear my jeans thoroughly until they become threadbare and the denim gets as thin as satin and finally fails at the weak-points (for me it's usually the backside or the crotch). I've been keeping my jeans in use artificially by stitching all the rips, but it's like chasing a dropped bag of marbles after awhile.

Back when I had some reason to read karate magazines they had ads for these 'martial arts' bluejeans that Chuck Norris spokesmaned for, which were tight like cowboy jeans, but had some kind of elastic/spandex sewn into the crotch invisibly that let you do those absurd head-level side kicks with no problem. I wonder if they still make those things.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )