Mephitis mephitis, Philosophiæ Doctor (floyd_mephit) wrote,
Mephitis mephitis, Philosophiæ Doctor

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Broiled Snapper, a la Mephit

I broiled some snapper for dinner, as such:

.75 pound fillet snapper, skinned and deboned
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 tsp kosher salt (or 1.25 tsp regular salt)
1 tsp black pepper
1 tbsp parsley flakes
.25 tsp thyme
3 tbsp red wine/fish stock
4x4" green onion stalks

Set your broiler to it's highest setting for about 5 minutes, and wash the slime from the fillet (those things always have some sort of filthy stank slime on them like the inside of your mom's Virginia Slim beefjerky lungs or drooly L'eggs-shrouded snatch, so wash well and don't be afraid to wipe with your hand and check for bones).  Pat the fillet dry with a paper towel and set it on a cast-iron skillet or griddle (I use a tiny 9" fajita serving skillet b/c it's small and easy to clean, but make sure you use cast iron and not non-stick OR YOU'LL DIE and cock up your pan real bad).  Sprinkle some salt and pepper on both sides of the fillet and then mix all the seasonings together and brush them on both sides of the fish, into every invagination.  Then put some more pepper on the fish and stick it in  the broiler (as close to the burner as your landlord's shitty roach condo/oven will let you) and let it cook for around 8 minutes (maybe 9 if you use a big skillet or like your fish "cajun style" AKA "a seven-dollar briquette"), then pull it out of the broiler and GENTLY turn it over with a metal pancake spatula or one of those Franklin Mint collectable moon landing plates your Grandmother left you, and put it back in the oven for another 5 to 7 minutes.  When it's done, take it out and let it sit for a couple of minutes, until the sizzling is juuust beginning to stop;  if you don't do this, all the seared outside will rupture like a big turgid cold sore when you touch it and seep juice onto your mashed potatoes and your family will think you're an amateur.  Remove the fish (gently, spaz) and put it onto a warmed plate.  Now put the skillet over a burner on high for about 10-30 seconds, until it heats back up and starts sizzling again, and pour on the wine, and deglaze the damned thing until all the little clots of fish flesh detatch and get dissolved and turn brownish and turbid (say it with me:  Mmmmm, brownish and turbid), and add a few strands (4" is a good length) of green onions (I'm just talking flaccid people seriously 4" is normal) and saute them in the deglaze for about 20 seconds (look I'm not Ron Jeremy okay the motherfucker gets bigger so fuck off) and then pour the mess over the fillet.  Now if you did this well, you won't need a knife to cut it, and hot diggity damn it should taste good and actually not fishy.

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