October 12th, 2009


Died in the wool

I am getting really, REALLY tired of the whole zombie fad. Zombie this, zombie that, zombie makeup, zombieland, zombie pot pie, etc. I'd be surprised if White Zombie sales didn't get a bump from this nonsense. I guess, though, that everyone jumping on the zombie bandwagon shouldn't be that surprising, since zombies are essentially just the ultimate iteration of sheeple. It'd be at least more entertaining if they weren't Romero zombies. There are other types of zombie out there. The 28-days-later zombie, for example, is actually scary. Not as scary as the molestation-trial-Jacko zombie, but then again I look nothing like Macaulay Culkin so what am I worried for?

I'd like to see a Frankenstein's monster fad. I didn't really like Mystery Men, but "Casanova Frankenstein" is the absolute coolest name for a villain there ever was. How about a gorgon fad, or a harpy fad? How about a Werewolf fad (oh wait), or a Creature from the Black Lagoon fad? A Godzilla fad? Why don't we see these around? It's because these creatures had personality. It takes creativity for someone to dress up as a big Kaiju monster and smash over a tilt-shift backdrop of Duluth with a flaming Elvis guitar-staff, but putting some latex-scar and L7 ripped shirts on and stumbling down to the mall has all the almost-originality of a flash-mob and all the scariness of the Munsters. Then again, I don't have the time to do anything of the sort so I guess I also don't have the right to complain. Baa-ck to the mall, you mimeographic monstrocities!

Anyway, I greased a palm and got my hall pass. I just need to do some serious cleaning in my domicile and prep myself for the ordeal that is dropping the dog off at the boarding place (seriously, it's like Linda Blair on a leash). I hope there's a bar at or near this hotel, I could use a drink like an alcoholic in denial (which I am NOT!!)
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    White Zombie - More Human than Human
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all of the above maybe

What's the best feeling in the world?

Is it when you've been in the shower for about 90 seconds and the water juuust has worked its way into your muscles and your back can magically slump a little bit more than usual so your head goes *bonk* onto the tile wall?

Is it when you wake up with a gross feeling in your head and find you have one more beer in the fridge, just when some awesome show is coming on TV?

Is it when you have been working for like 15 hours and you can talk someone into walking on your back until you pop every one of your vertebrae joints, including the atlas-axis one, and they go 'oh shit I just broke your neck' and you go nahhhhhhhhhhhhhohhyeahhhh

Is it sleeping in fresh clean sheets?

Is it the feeling of grated coconut mushing between your teeth and the sound it makes when you crunch it under your molars?

Is it when you tell the funniest deadpan joke in the woild with the best timing and make someone laugh so hard that they don't make any laughing-noise for like 6-7 seconds but their face is beet red and they're just kind of jiggling until they can control themselves enough to actually laugh normally?

Is it .......

What is your favorite feeling in the world? I'm still thinking what mine is.