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March 9th, 2009

When I was a kid I used to have depersonalization episodes a lot, where I would just all of a sudden not be able to believe that I was experiencing reality as it was happening. I would mentally ask myself 'is this now? is this real?' for a few seconds (or minutes), and sometimes I would repeat it out loud until I was satisfied that it was, so that I could keep walking or get out of bed or whatever. I had that happen into maybe middle school, but sometimes I have felt like it's about to happen again and I had to start doing something active or talk a lot to kind of 'pre-prove' to myself that everything is currently happening and I'm not watching it as a movie or dream.

Last night I experienced some rather vivid hallucinations feeling-type, for awhile. I drank a beer, but nothing else. It was kind of unsettling, but maybe it's like what lucid dreaming's supposed to feel like.

The weather here is getting positively tolerable now. I can actually turn off the heater in the morning on the drive to work. It's so nice not to have that dry heat in my face for some time.

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