August 8th, 2004


My name is Ulrich Haarbürste and I like to write stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling

"...I start at the ankles and work up. I am like a spider binding him in my gossamer web. I do it tight with several layers. Soon Roy Orbison stands before me, completely wrapped in cling-film. The pleasure is unexampled.

'You are completely wrapped in cling-film,' I say.

'You win the bet,' says Roy, muffled. 'Now unwrap me.'

'Not for several hours.'


I find freakish fetish stories to be pretty funny most of the time, and when they're written by someone whose first language isn't English, BONUS! But it's so goofy,the content, that I can't be sure it's not just a joke. That's the problem with freaky fetish stories. Is the writer laughing his ass off typing it, or is he gluing the keys together?
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