August 7th, 2002


(no subject)

I've installed and uninstalled and reinstalled Civilization iii about 8 times and it still won't work. It fucked up my video settings too. It put me in another bad mood, and I can feel a headache. It's the kind that feels like I've smoked a pack of cigarettes straight through, last puff to light, after being up for a day. I know this feeling all too well and though I've forced myself to stop breaking the thing that puts me in the mood, I'm starting to lose touch with things again. I should just go to bed but I'm not tired. I just don't know what to do anymore. I wish school would start so I could forget that I don't know how to lead a normal life. Maybe I should just cause enough physical pain so I could cry, and then I would be able to do that.

I tried on my kilt on a whim and realized I hated it, and HATED it. fuckitigiveup