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...There Rust, and Let me Dye!

I guess in this era of people giving themselves Hitler moustaches and whatnot, I can't feel too absurd in my endeavors to modify this Amtrak-esque mug of mine. I dug out a box of that stuff that old men dye their grey away with so they can go troll for disproportionately young booty. Just for Men is the name, I think; I'm in the other room now. I dyed my face with this stuff many months ago, maybe a year, after coming to the realization that I have two distinct colors of facial hair. My moustache is quite blond, and the rest of my goatee is quite dark brown. Someone had the tact to even compare me to Hollywood Hogan, since I guess the color contrast is pretty strong there. Personally I didn't see what the big deal was, but Hollywood Hogan?  come on. I see Roddy Piper or Little Spike Dudley, but don't insult me here.

Anyway, I dug out the dye and put it on my face. Five minutes (!) later, I washed it off, and now once again my facial hair is homogenous, one color, one tint, eine Deutscheland. Contrary to most of the other people who dye their hair, I feel several years older than I did before. I'm definitely not planning on dyeing away my gray hairs, since I've had them since I was around 16. My mother's already begun that journey full steam ahead, and is, I reckon, oblivious to the irony when we two are seen together, and I'm the only one sporting gray.

And so here I sit with brown dye smeared around my mouth, looking like I've just felched a big cheesy butthole, with one of my natural defenses gone.  Or didn't you know that very light and very dark hair together is one of nature's ways of saying ''Don't Touch''?

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
vespavago
Dec. 8th, 2004 06:19 am (UTC)
Argh!
So where do you get those icons, I see em everywhere! And seriously though, Hollywood Hogan is an insult.
floyd_mephit
Dec. 8th, 2004 06:45 am (UTC)
Re: Argh!
This style icon was popular a long time ago and I hate riding those waves, so this was the first time I've used it (plus, they only had monochromatic goatees). I forgot what the URL for the little generator is, but if you google "lj user icons", It's GOT to be listed there. Also I think there are several LJ communities based on user icons searchable at the lj website.

I'd need a doo-rat, muscle shirt, and a pair of wraparound metallic sunglasses to really pull off the hogan look. That, and a bottle and a half of baby oil.
vespavago
Dec. 8th, 2004 07:26 am (UTC)
Pffft.
Slacker, you need at least 14 bottles of baby oil and a metric assload of premeasured cortisone shots. Besides, Lou Albino was infintiely cooler than Hogan, and to pull his look off all you need is a self deprecating sense of humor and a handful of colorful rubber bands.
floyd_mephit
Dec. 8th, 2004 01:55 pm (UTC)
Re: Pffft.
Cap'n Lou was one of my childhood heroes. Especially in the Super Mario show. I used to put little rubber bands in my hair during the show sometimes, and then cut them out because my hair would get way too tangled in them from wrestling around and doing Superfly impersonations off of the back of the couch.

Yeah, I never really liked Hogan as much as the Ultimate Warrior, but You can't beat his voice for party tricks..
mrcougar
Dec. 8th, 2004 03:37 pm (UTC)
you too eh?just for men shit works good. I've always dyed my facial hair dark brown, it matches my hair except for the grey ones .
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )