Somewhere in my mind, waaay in the back I was watchng myself go through this naked flip-out and thinking, "jeezus, this retard is going completely BONKERS over here." However, as the scalding hot water jetted onto my sunburned back I realized that, hey, MY PREVIOUS LEVEL OF BONKERS WAS IN FACT CRUMPETS AND A CUP OF EARL GREY COMPARED TO THE BONKERS I WAS NOW ABOUT TO EMBARK ON. I had previously only let hot water (hotter than normal skin can stand) get onto a sunburn before and as is expected I went 'ouch christ' and recoiled. But full-force 120 degree-plus water onto what was in part a second-degree burn was a whole new experience. Needless to say I just about crapped myself and fainted dead away from the pain. But, as I had planned (as much as a person can really be credited with planning as he runs naked and headlong screaming around his apartment), My skin became almost instantly numb where the scald had coursed through me. I kept turning my back around to scald more of it and thereby kill the itch the fucking itch that was covering my back. After a few seconds my screams turned to shuddered gasps like in every third scene in the old Dragonball Z cartoons, and then finally to sighs of relief as I just stood there in the shower unable to see from the steam billowing out of the showerhead. After I felt no more itch (and basically nothing at all) on my back I dried off and layed down on the bed and passed out.
I am still completely dumbfounded as to what the hell happened. But I feel completely justified in suggesting that it burned off like 6 months of hell.