Mephitis mephitis, Philosophiæ Doctor (floyd_mephit) wrote,
Mephitis mephitis, Philosophiæ Doctor

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Stolen from just_the_ash, who undoubtedly borrowed in kind

Yeah yeah, I know. So look at me on the meme train. wooooooo woooooooo! Next stop, geeksville. We'll be making a detour around self-respect mountain, but I'm sure nobody will notice.

name = People call me Floyd, sometimes.
piercings = I have one ear pierced. One nipple, one lip. I've had I think 20 or so before now, but they've either been lost, bitten out, ripped out, cut out, or scarred closed.
tattoos = One on my back. One on my chest. One on my leg. I think 23 or so hours total sitting under some sweaty dude with a sharp vibrator.
height= 5 foot 9
shoe size = 10 or so, but I wear 13 boots if that's all they have.
hair color = dark brown and gray. My beard is dark brown and blonde (like the Hulkster, maybe)
siblings = one younger sister named Erin
movie you watched = The Shootist, with the Duke
movie you bought = Ran, by Kurosawa
song you listened to = Society Fools by Devo
song that was stuck in your head = Acid Head by Lords of Acid
cd you bought = Audioslave. I can't believe I actually paid for a CD but there you go.
cd you listened to = '80 - '85 by Bad Religion
person you've called = Mikey the Best Man
person that's called you = My Landlord
tv show you've watched = Law and Order
person you were thinking of = Alex
you have a crush on someone = No, I don't get crushes. I get boners.
you wish you could live somewhere else = yes, Baton Rouge. Or NOLA. I enjoyed Paris, but I don't know anyone there.
you think about suicide = Who doesn't?
you believe in online dating = I don't believe in anything, goob. But who's it going to hurt? I online dated sort of once and it led to real-life smoochie. But it's really only for kids or really ugly people.
others find you attractive = Doubtful
you want more piercings = Sure, why not. But they'll eventually get ripped loose or out, or I'll lose the ring or something like that.
you like cleaning = I really like mopping and sweeping, and washing dishes. I used to do it for hours at Wendy's when I was a kid and it grew on me. hothot water is relaxing
you like roller coasters = yes. The lines, I don't like.
you write in cursive or print = I'm always trying to update my handwriting style. but it's modified block letters.

long-distance relationships = Worked for me. PSYCHO bitch!
using someone = Kant said don't do it. But I don't agree with much of anything he ever said.
suicide = People should be able to murder themselves if they want to. It's their little bodies, let them do it. Survival of the fittest.
killing people = Murder is bad, generally. I'm for the death penalty. For damn near everyting. Seriously; car theft - death. rape - death. embezzlement - death. Holy bastard what a straight&narrow place we'd have.
teenage smoking = I did it, I came out fine. But kids are stupid, and their parents should protect them from their own idiocy. But if they sneak out and do it, let them die from cancer like the big kids.
driving drunk = I used to do it, wish I didn't. Should be death penalty crime.
gay/lesbian/trans relationships = doesn't bother me. Bothers me about as much as heterosexual relationships or relationships with farm animals. the only relationships that bother me are adults and little children.
soap operas = They are for housewives and gorks. But what business is it of mine what they play on TV while I'm out earning a living?

ever cried over a girl = Yes, several times (I'm such a nancy, see.)
ever cried over a boy = Don't believe so
ever lied to someone = Lots of times. I try not to lie if I can help it, because it shows disrespect and that's best shown by telling the truth.
ever been in a fist fight = Relatively few times. I would like to get into another one if possible.
ever been arrested = I've been everything but. I was only a bad kid when underage, and they don't arrest kids where I'm from.

shampoo do you use = head and shoulders (scratchscratch)
shoes do you wear = Combat boots (not TotalRequestLive-style Doc Martins or whatnot)
are you scared of = my family's well-being being messed around with. I worry about other people, not myself.

of times I have been in love? = What's in love? ....okay maybe 3 times.
of times I have had my heart broken? = I guess 3 times.
of hearts I have broken? = That I know of, maybe one.
of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? = I think only twice. Once when I graduated college, and once they put my picture on the cover of the sports page when I went to the homecoming game wearing a spraypainted pumpkin
of scars on my body? = I couldn't possibly count all the scars on my body. (I was a cutter as a child) . I've got a cherry scar on my head and ear where I was attacked by a doberman as a baby. And another one on my chest where I tried to kill myself by cutting through my ribcage with a scalpel. And I don't piss quite straight anymore because my first Prince Albert got ripped out.
of things in my past that I regret? = immeasurable.

pretty - No. I was good-looking as a kid. But not now.
funny - Yes. I'm the funniest person I've ever met. Is that redeeming?
hot - No. If I doll myself up I might achieve 'average', though.
friendly - Not at all. I make friends like Kia makes cars. But the friends I somehow manage to get, I treat VERY well, usually. Better than I treat myself. But that's friendship, maybe.
amusing - = funny? okay.
ugly - I covered this. I'm disquieting in person and photograph poorly.
lovable - I see no reason to work towards people loving me. If you love me, then good for me. Otherwise, c'est ca.
caring - About my friends and family. Otherwise, I'm somewhat antipathetic towards you.
sweet - Nobody's ever called me that. Not my mother, not when I was a baby. I'm sour (and umami)
dorky - I'm nerdy. That is to say, that I'm an actual nerd. Or geek, if you will. That's my job, see. I'm a goddamn geek for money. But maybe i'm a dork off the clock, too.
5 letter word: skunk? drole...
Actor/actress: Morgan Freeman
Cartoon: Family guy (this is cartoon, not comic, I guess)
Cereal: Cheerios, i guess. ( I don't really eat cereal any more)
Chewing gum: Bubblicious
Color(s): black and white and gray. And blaze orange (what a color)
Color nail polish: Away te fuck!
Day of week: Friday
Least fave day: Sunday
Flower: Dogwood
Jello flavor: ICK
Jewelry: my college ring and my celtic cross pendant.
Special skills/talents: Used to play guitar really well. I've got an impenetrable poker face.
Summer/Winter: spring-summer, and winter.
Trampolines or swimming pools: A pool, if it's someone else's. I can't scubadive in a trampoline.

|| Person who last.. ||
Slept in your bed: an old girlfriend.
Made you cry: The same.
You went to the movies with: Myself
Yelled at you: don't remember. Probably a bum or some trash person.
Sent you an email: Slashdot's Daily newsletter

|| Have you ever.. ||
Said "I love you" and meant it?: It's impolite to say it otherwise.
Gone out in public in your pajamas: I sleep in my boxer-briefs. But I go outside in that if it's summertime, so fine, yes.
Kept a secret from everyone: All the time. I like keeping secrets; but it's not like there's anything that I'd die over anyone knowing.
Cried during a movie: I don't think so. maybe teary-eyed, though
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: I don't pay for TV guide. I only watch 2 or 3 shows and i know when they come on.
Been on stage: I sang in a band in high school and so rocked the stage quite a few times (got paid, too). And a few plays in elementary school.
Been to New York: Once, I drove up from Baton Rouge for New Year's Eve 1999
Been to California: Once, on a NJROTC summer trip.
Hawaii: No
China: No
Canada: No
Europe: To France, once.
Asia: No
South: Mexico
Australia: No
Wished you were the opposite sex: Only if i were to get lonesome for the feel of what I like to call "Titties and Muff". (thankyou, thank you.)

|| This or That? ||
Apples or bananas?: bananas
Blue or red?: blue
Walmart or target?: Walmart has more stuff. I try not to patronize that dump anymore, though
Spring or Fall?: fall is hunting season, but spring is riding season. I'm conflicted.
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: Write up a 'hypothetical biotransformation map for aniline' for a Toxicology final, then pass out.
What was the last meal you ate?: Muffaletta sandwich and a Lime popsicle
Are you bored?: Sometimes, but only when I'm not overwhelmed.
Last noise you heard? Some reference to buttfucking on the tv show OZ on HBO right now
Last smell you sniffed?: Okay people, I spanked it just before doing this survey so don't ask.

|| Friendship/Love ||
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: Yea, I would like to have 3 or so kids (in case one or two become crack-addicts or dead). I want to help improve the gene pool in the South, and pumping out smart kids will help do that.
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: shared experience? commonality? hard to say.

|| Other Info ||
Criminal record?: My juvenile record is expunged, and I've only been charged with ONE felony since then. Would you like to know what it was?
Do you speak any other languages?: I speak french fairly well (but not like I could in college). I'm learning German, and I used to be able to speak conversational Japanese. AND PIGLATIN I'M SO COOL! btw, being able to write in computer languages doesn't count, dorks!
Last book you read: Cliinical Psychopharmacology Made Ridiculously Simple, by some guy with letters after his name.
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom? spank mags, my B.B. King guitar, my DN skunk-girl prints, my college diploma, my dog's pedigree.
Worst feeling in the world: guilt, dread, regret
Who you love: My family, my friends (including you people, you wascally wabbits), the Bagpiper.

|| You ||
Nickname(s): Floyd. Bradshaw, Bradley, Papillion
Initials: BAP
How old do you look?: People always assume I'm over 35, sometimes over 40, and they've thought that since i was 16.
How old do you act?: I act like an old fucking man
Glasses/Contacts: glasses. I tried contacts (contact actually. the dr. said I only needed one) and it took 40 minutes to cram it in. I can't spend 40 minutes in the bathroom every day and NOT be jerking my crank, people.
Braces: had them and a retainer. and those rubber band things that go in your back teeth. And i have a metal wire glued to my bottowm teeth. And they're still crooked.
Do you have any pets?: One dog, very neurotic.
You get embarrassed: Rarely.
What makes you happy?: completing something. Riding freely. Learning.
What upsets you?: People. People make me want to go insane. I sometimes wish everyone were just dead and I could go around riding over their skulls with my truck, getting brain matter all up in my wheel wells.

|| Finish the sentence: ||
I Love to... do stuff. And things. Junk?
I Miss... All the old friends I'll never see again.
I Wish... I could have had a few beers with my Father
I Hope... I can get those 3 little consonants after my name and get the hell out of grad school.
I'm Annoyed by... Keratinocytes. Why won't they fucking grow? They grow like fucking crazy on me. They can't grow at work too?
I Am... uninterested in doing my exam work now, and wondering why nobody's online on a friday.
I Want to be... published, and consequently, tenured. (Actually this is the answer from the person I copied from, but it's what I was gonna put)
I Would Never... say no to a friend, whatever/whenever, that's why we have friends.
I'd doing this
I Am Tired of... solitude.
I Will Always be... a student in the world.


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