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what a mess

I went to the grocery store yesterday after work, feeling the bliss of getting out before it turned dark -- for the first time in, I guess, 4-6 months. I normally don't go to the grocery as I get mine delivered (in what is surely a systematic closure of all possible contact with others until I am left with a pair of kleenex-box shoes and an intercom). I was in the checkout lane when the woman in front of me, clad in a pink-purple acetate running-suit, says something at me which I could not hear above the music from my headphones. I removed one of them and she repeated herself, pointing a finger at my face and swirling it around in an all-encompassing referential motion, saying "when you're ready to get yourself cleaned up, come by my shop. I'm the barber next door." I'm not normally driven to speechlessness, but I was, admittedly, struck dumb at the situation until she (possibly seeing my muted gaping mouth) asked me my name. I had regained my senses enough to give the standard lie to her* and she told me hers which in my confusion don't recall. She then added something about it becoming Spring and something which probably was meant to connect that fact with my face, but I had already put my headphone back on and was loading my shit onto the conveyor belt. Then she ran off for 4 minutes suddenly to get tampons and left.

In other news, I realized that I booked the wrong return flight home from BR and had to buy a new one, at the princely sum of 720 bucks (more than the original round-trip price). I predict that I will not be flying anywhere again until my sister's wedding in November.





*we, as all demons great and small, give up a considerable advantage to anyone who knows our true names.

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Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
silversledge
Mar. 16th, 2008 10:46 pm (UTC)
Some people have such little awareness of social cues and norms that it baffles me. Half the people I see as a Psychologist are like that. I think the best response you could have given her was to thank her for her unwanted opinion and loudly fart.
floyd_mephit
Mar. 17th, 2008 01:30 pm (UTC)
It gets harder to fart on cue with every passing year I find.

Also I like how you capitalized 'psychologist'.
silversledge
Mar. 17th, 2008 02:12 pm (UTC)
I like to capitalize my job title, makes me feel more important. "As a Fry Cook, its my job to make sure these little beauties come out nice and crispy" That way people at least assume you're the head fry cook. If only my wife bought it...
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )