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Apr. 1st, 2006

I went outside on my balcony last night to do something, and one of the pigeons that nests up there flew into my apartment.  I batted it around with a dustmop to try to coax it outside, but it wouldn't go there.  My dog wouldn't bit it for some reason, so finally I grabbed it and brought it upstairs.  It calmed right down once I had my hands on it.  i took a couple of pictures with my cameraphone, but I'm too lazy to upload them.  I brought it back to the balcony and let it go.  It's probably back on the balcony now.

I bought a pair of chinos at the mall, since I had told myself I need to try to wear them again, as a sort of up-scaling of my dress code.  Jeans are the grad student uniform, but I would like to have an option for when I need to take out visiting professors, and wearing them on a rotating basis would make me more comfortable in them for when I need to.  I also bought a power inverter so I can use my vacuum to clean the truck instead of paying out the ass for the commercial ones.  I also picked up my nitrox tank from being filled, and got a little dive flag buoy to keep drunken partyboaters from chopping me to ribbons if I dive in the boat launch again.  That would kind of suck.

I had planned on making some kind of goofy confession today, which was outlandish and difficult to believe on its face, because I figured everyone would assume that because it's April Fool's day they could chuckle incredulously and ignore it, and then tomorrow I would simply repeat it and explain that it was the truth.  But after trolling my memory for something that I could call outlandish, I decided that I am not an outlandish sort of person and bombast does not come easily to me.  My friends think that I'm the definition of it, and every story I tell them, while true, always gets put in an unfavorable, unsavory light which is more amusing to them.  You raped a girl in college, ha ha that's a pretty funny story dude;  you had sex with a 15-year-old, oh shit dude tell me that one again;  etcetera, whatever, any story I have is always funny no matter what it's really saying about me or society or them, is the type of thing they repeat to everyone they talk with and eventually every time I see someone I have to either confirm or deny or retell the same stories with the same emphasis and demurr in the same deprecating way that makes the experience the same as when they heard it the first time.  But in truth, what can I say that hasn't been said before by somebody else about me and built up much more expectantly.  Bombast is easier to drink than to brew, so I will just leave it alone this year and maybe by next year the same stories will have died back down and become new again, and it'll be that special day of deniability where it's witty to surreptitously tell atrocious truths.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
mrcougar
Apr. 3rd, 2006 12:07 am (UTC)
so those Ghunk stories are true? hahahhaa
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